20 November 2015


autumn is awesome.
it really is and i love it, i love the leafs, the warm light, the trees changing colours.
i love the sound of walking through a park stepping on crunching leaves and the scrafs and coffees that keep you warm.
i basically love everything about autumn

 ...except for one thing.

no matter if it's the first of october or the end of november, this time period always brings me the most depressing days. one of the sides of autumn is backlit by sun and filled with positive, cozy times but the other one is gloomy and cold as shit. in this time period it happens to be the other one. you wake up in the morning, get dressed and drink your sleepy morning coffee. when you leave the house you're hit by the disarming wave of cold air and with darkness all around you you make your way to school or work, or whatever you have to do. as the day starts it's all cloudy or foggy so you can barely see the sun. when school/work/whatever is over it's getting dark again and it feels like your day is almost ending. yet you didn't do anything that would make you happy or get you out of the depressing gray. so your days are filled with negative energy and everything is grim and boring....
that's how i feel about it.

these days in october and november look all the same to me. i usually do nothing productive or interesting and when it's gone (usually around the beggining of december or christmas)  i can be me again. happy, optimistic me. mehh.

during these two months i also argue the most with my parents, friends or other people and i'm so done with everything i don't even want to see anybody so i won't transmit it to others. which leads to even bigger mood decreases because i don't have positive people around.
if i won't be nice to you during these two months it is not about you, it is about the stupid, boring, uninteresting gray that's all over me and i don't know how to get rid of. (i love gray but not in this way /oh my gosh that makes a rhyme)

i'm experiencing this every year so i'm used to it now and i know it will pass. it is just about not getting enough sun energy i guess. it sounds rediculous but i think that's how it works for me. no sun - no fun. and everything sucks.

i just wanted to tell you about this so you don't have to wonder why is this article this bad and to find out if you maybe feel the same thing sometimes. if you do, or you have any other experiences with maybe just a little similar thing, please, feel free to share them with me in the comments.

hope your days will be full of colours,