10 September 2017


the last time i posted here was october 27, last year – that means around 10 months of not putting my thoughts in words and letting you read them. 
i just couldn't find anything good to share with you. every time i sat down to write i became numb. all i wrote felt unsignificant and nothing was good enough. so i simply waited for a moment of change until things start being interesting again. and until now, ive been finding my life pretty empty and uninteresting. 
that is what i want to write about today.
there's this wannabe deep post i've seen browsing the internet the other day: 
"people wait all week for the weekend, all year for summer, all life for happiness."
its been a lot of years since i saw it but i got attached to it for some reason and i guess it was because i could actually relate to this 'eyes-opening bullshit.'

because i sometimes just feel like waiting. as if i just had to survive a bad era and then good things start happening again. the good shit will come. 
but the good shit never comes. 
or well. it doesn't come itself.

i like to break down because of details and things with minor importance. then i feel kinda stuck in the 'shitty situation' because a lot of details can go wrong at the same time and then you look at your life and think: ''this is not a good season.'' or if you're a believer in fate like i am you're gonna think ''a good new person better walk in my life or a good party better be thrown so i feel a little better these days.'' but it is not about the other people. you are the shitty situation.

i see now that waiting for a change is never worth it. it won't come unless you make it. so this post, by which im trying to make up the year-gap up to you, is trying to say that the conditions are never perfect. there's not a period in your life when you are a hundred percents happy. even if stuff seems to be great at one moment, it will fuck up in the other one. so i'd say don't dwell on how things feel at the moment. don't put off great stuff you could be doing just because you don't feel like it right now. becuase you could wait your life away. or a year of your life. just like i did – waiting for the perfect thought process to write about.

im realising this is not a post that would cover the gap but i can promise you now i will try to write more and resurrect this blog that i forgot i loved this much.

i'd like to thank everybody who's ever asked about a new post because maybe it's just you - the person who made me go back to it. thank you for keeping up with me, see. you. soon.
<3 gretavbc